He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
