Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She told me I should be a condom model.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
