tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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