So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
