Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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