apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
