Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
