Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
