If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
