I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
