some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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