She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
