She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
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NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's on the porch naked. Help.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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