I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
