HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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