You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
