O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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