STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Green mimosas i think yes
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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