There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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