I just cut my nipple shaving
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize