Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize