Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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