your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
