i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
