it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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