Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
being pregnant is like rehab
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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