Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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