He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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