Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
