Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
