everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Randomize
