i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I've blown a few things in my day
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
smell my finger.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
