I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
