I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
