she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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