Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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