I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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