Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Green mimosas i think yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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