girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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