That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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