dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
