Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
