Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
