So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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