Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
