My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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