i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
