Sponge bath it is.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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