I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
