the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
