drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
