People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize