I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
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