Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
