i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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