Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize