Why are handjobs necessary in class?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
a search helicopter?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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