Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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