Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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