i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize