she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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