Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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